My first STD was from a foam party
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
