Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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