Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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