i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
