pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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