I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Why can't burritos get me drunk
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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