so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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