I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she pinky promised me she was 18
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
