Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize