I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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