I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
