I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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