I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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