The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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