Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
