I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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