there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
