thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I skipped work to stalk him.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
