i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
