i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
