I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
