I cannot find my penis.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
