A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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