Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
