Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
