As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
