I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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