I am spending my child support on dildos
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
