508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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