i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
