i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
