but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize