She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
