so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
