I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
