Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
