the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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