I think I just saw someone hide a body.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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