now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
