i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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