have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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