Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
