I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Rumble strips road head = magical
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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