Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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