found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
