I bet he comes in French.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Everything about him screamed your future.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
