Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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