there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
