You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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