This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I feel like a drive thru vagina
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize