how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
