maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
