ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize