If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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