What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
