she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
