Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
