he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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