I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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