Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
