I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
