Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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