every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
