I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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