Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
