we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
