I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
