Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
