Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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