tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
