I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
