Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
