so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
