So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
