at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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